The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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