she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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