So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize