Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
pray to the hookup gods
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
