We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
