I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the day after is always just damage control
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
