break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She is in my trunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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