Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
