that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never let your siblings swipe right.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
