The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize