So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
