I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
