you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
