What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
