yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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