Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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