they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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