I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
