yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize