My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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