Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
sex in a hospital.. check
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
