Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
