so explain again why im purple
no
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
