Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just want nice things and good sex
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize