Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
