I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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