Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We need to get me chipped asap
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
