worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
