so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
