she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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