whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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