My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
