the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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