before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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