I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
