You made me cry and you don't even care
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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