New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
