forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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