I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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