Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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