you guys were way drunker than both of me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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