I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
