birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
