Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
