i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
