It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
