It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
