Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
