im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
