I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
