She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
