so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
