just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
