what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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