I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
