I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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