You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize