yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
