i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
