sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
