if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
