Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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