there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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