i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize