I love black thongs
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
