i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
