Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
