I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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