I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
