She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
